An Instrument in His Hands

One of my most beloved friends and patient co-workers posted this entry on her personal blog. She gave me permission to share it on this blog as it was one of those moments that always needs to be shared more often. We are an instrument in His hands and if we can just remember that, miracles will come more often than we can even imagine. Enjoy!

Quoted from Naomi's AMAZING blog:
"Many of you know that I work with kids with special needs. I love my job and often feel the Lord working through me when I am interacting with the kids where I work. I know that there is so much, in and of myself, that I would never know how to do, and that I would never know to attempt, if it weren't for the small divine whisperings of a loving Father in Heaven that encourage me to look deeper, try hard, or change techniques, toys, or ideas. However, on a few rare and marvelous occasions in my job, I have been blessed with the opportunity to remember what it is like to feel the sweet sacredness of being 100% an Instrument in the Hands of our Loving Creator. This week, I got to experience one such moment. I will try to recount the event here, while still preserving student confidentiality.

There are many children at the school who struggle with such high degrees of anxiety that it becomes highly debilitating to their capacity to regulate their emotions, sensory processing systems, and even their motor planning. It is an intensity that most people will never experience, and it is so heart-wrenching to watch a child have to experience an episode of such high anxiety. The other day, one of our students was struggling with just such an episode. My co-administrator, whom we will refer to as "Hikari," was working with the student, as well as 2 other staff members to help the child overcome this anxiety and return to the classroom. The child, whom we will refer to as "Kodomo," has been spending a lot of time in the building's lobby. We are in leased space, and the other occupants of the building sometimes do not understand what is happening, and, as such, struggle with the crying and other sounds of distress that Kodomo and others make when they experience episodes of high anxiety. Hikari had been asked to try to keep Kodomo from being in the lobby so much. But Kodomo was/is not a fan of this plan. Kodomo likes to be in the lobby, and while it can sometimes help Kodomo regulate, it can also sometimes cause Kodomo's anxiety to spiral and become more intense. Hikari is amazing with the children at the school. I know no other person who is so perceptive to each child's unique processing and current state.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I received the following text from Hikari: "Any ideas for Kodomo? I think we're stuck." I felt a little anxiety of my own. If Hikari was stuck, I knew there was nothing more I could possibly have to offer. I stalled. "Where are you?" I texted. "Guess" was her response. I did the only thing I knew to do. I locked myself in my office, knelt down at my chair, and prayed. I prayed that Kodomo would be able to somehow let us know what he needed, or that we would be able to know in some way, what Kodomo needed. I also prayed that the other occupants of the building would have their hearts softened. I knew I would need them to exude a calm energy so that their nervous, anxious, and/or frustrated energy would not be perceived by Kodomo, who is very adept at picking up on the energy of others (as are most of our students).

I stood up, and headed to the lobby, still not knowing how I could be of any help to this child. Then the familiar whisper came, "slow down, slow down." So I slowed. I started breathing deeper, I cut my walking pace roughly in half. "Slow down!" it came again. I thought I was slowing, and almost resisted, but reminded myself to listen, and I tried to slow down even more. "Slow WAY down," the whispering came, "if you are not calm as still water on a pond when you get there, you will be of no use." So I did. On my way down the long staircase, I focused all my energy on slowing down, instead of on "what will I do when I get there?"

I got there, knelt in front of the Kodomo, looked at the child, trying to figure out what was wanted/needed. "Kodomo won't tell you" the whisper came; "you need to listen." Hikari told me "Kodomo is calm, but getting stuck in routines, and nothing seems to be helping." "Just watch...and listen" said the whisper. So I looked at Kodomo, and felt that I should try a technique that I have been learning about this year. Kodomo's anxiety was keeping Kodomo in unproductive routines, which were preventing Kodomo from being able to leave the lobby. Through a series of techniques, and after nearly 45 minutes, we were able to get Kodomo upstairs to the classroom, calmly and even laughing at times. How did we do it? I do not know, exactly. I know I was told, through divine whisperings, that Kodomo was still highly anxious, that Kodmo's anxiety was keeping Kodomo in routines and preventing Kodomo from being able to leave the lobby, that I needed to help Kodomo learn to trust the process, that I needed to help Kodomo get to a nearly lethargic state in order for the anxiety to lessen. I did what I was told, and it worked. Why? Because I was asked that day to listen to the one who knows Kodomo better than anyone. I was asked to be an instrument in His hands to help this child experience the success of coming out of such a state. What a sweet, wonderful experience it was for me! It was spiritually invigorating. It was something I left knowing I need to work on feeling more often.

It made me think. How many of our family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and neighbors are "stuck" in their own "lobbies" of unproductive or unhealthy routines that prevent continued progress? How can we help them face their fears enough to step outside of their "lobby"? How can we be in instrument in Heavenly Father's hands to help those around us? How "stuck" are we in our own "lobbies"? How can we face our own fears and take the first step towards greater progress? Who in our lives helps us let go of routines and step toward progression? Do we surround ourselves with those who strive to help us progress, who coax us away from the unhealthy and unproductive routines and "lobbies" in our lives? Do we cherish these people and hold onto their friendship? Do we nourish them and help them progress as well? Do we truly understand the depth of the power we possess to help our fellow humans when we stop and listen to those little, daily whisperings? Do we seek opportunities to be instruments in His hands?"