Prayer in Helping to Teach

I want to recount an experience I had that helped me realize how powerful and immediately prayer can bless your life.  A couple years ago I had the opportunity of babysitting for a family I loved.  There were five kids, but I was mainly there for the baby and a very special 10 year old friend of mine, Matt (name has been changed), who had a seizure disorder that made it difficult to safely leave him with anyone who wasn’t trained.  As I had worked with this little boy previously, I knew it would be exhausting to keep him safe, to keep his behavior in check and to still manage a full time job on top of it.

Well, it was Sunday, and I was determined to make it to church even though I had been up five times in the night with the baby and was low on sleep and patience.  Right as we walked into Sacrament Meeting, Matt wet his pants.  I was pretty frustrated and walked him home to change him.  He put up a stink about being changed and by the time we managed to start walking back to church, I was frazzled!  I didn’t realize that his quiet Sunday toys that he keeps in his church pants were now in the wet pile of peed on clothes in the basement.  As we got to church, Matt then realized he was missing his “cow, horse and cowboys.”  For the next hour of Sacrament Meeting, Matt would repeat over and over, “I want my cow.  I want my horse.  I want my cowboys.”  I tried everything to get him quiet – playfulness, distraction, sternness, ignoring, holding my hand over his mouth gently, singing a song, etc.  I tried everything and Matt just kept repeating over and over, “I want my cow.  I want my horse.  I want my cowboys.  It’s Matt’s cow!  It’s Matt’s horse!  It’s Matt’s cowboys!”  It about drove me crazy.  I had a headache and was exhausted from keeping him from running out and from trying to keep him quiet in the back of the chapel.  By the end of the meeting, I just kept thinking, “I can’t wait to hand this boy over to his aide that will take him to Sunday School and Primary!”  The thought of two hours to just sit and listen in church was overwhelmingly wonderful and it was the only thing keeping me from getting really, unfairly angry at Matt.  I was about to explode and was so relieved to hear the Amen of the closing prayer.  Out the chapel Matt and I went to rid ourselves of each other.

As we reached Matt’s class, his aide who helps him in church approached me and said that she had been quite sick and was just plain exhausted.  She asked if there was anyway that we could split the time.  She’d take Sunday School and I would take Sharing Time.  I agreed pleasantly, even though I panicked inside at the thought of having to make it all the way through Primary Sharing Time with this little boy who was mad at me anyway and who was causing such anger and frustration inside of me.

During Gospel Doctrine, I pulled out the Hymn book, and trying to calm myself read over hymns that reminded me of the individual soul underneath.  I slowly began to calm, but still felt on the verge of tears and frustration at the thought of having to go back with Matt.  Home wasn’t so hard with Matt.  If I got frustrated, there was generally another compromise.  At church, though, in public, it was a lot harder to stand your ground.  How was I going to do Primary?

I started praying – begging to see Matt in a better light and be excited to be with him for Primary.  I wanted so bad to fill the frustration up with love, but I knew I couldn’t do it myself.  I was so angry and I couldn’t make the cloud hanging over my head dissipate.  Walking out to meet Matt, I was sure that this was about to be a disaster, when a friend of the family’s stopped me.  She said, “Hey, we found these in our bag and thought Matt could use them.  We used to work with Matt and kept these with us, but you could probably use them more.  Would you give them to his mom?”  I agreed and took them with me.  As I met up with Matt and we got to Primary, I pulled out the little bag and found horses, cows and cowboys!  Who would have thought!?!  My soul filled up that the Lord loved me so much to give me the one thing that would keep Matt happy to be at church.  I spilled a quick prayer of gratitude into the air and went to face Primary.

Matt pleasantly played with his toys, glancing up every once in a while to see what was happening.  During song time they sang, “I Am a Child of God,” and Matt’s eyes lit up and his smile reached clear across his face.  He sang along as best he could and was so happy to be singing one of his favorite songs.  Right then and there, I looked at Matt and saw the beautiful little boy that had disappeared with my anger and frustration.  He was always there, but my sight was so blinded, I forget to look closer and see him for who he was.  There was a little boy who held a chunk of my heart and all of his Heavenly Father’s love.  There was a little boy who I was lucky to know.  And there was a prayer answered as the Lord changed my heart, took away my anger and reminded me of the love that the Savior has for each of us – no matter who we are or how much we frustrate those who care for us.  I know God watched out for me that day and sent me a little miracle.  That bag of cows was far more than a simple toy Matt needed to stay quiet in church.  It was a window into the soul of a little boy who knows somewhere deep down that he is a child of God and who was simply trying to remind me that I am the same.